Three positive things every day

This year did not start well, with Muffy's death, the mysterious, excruciating pain in my left hand resulting in a night in hospital, then two weeks with a severe dose of flu where I could barely raise my head from the pillow. All this sent me into a deep depression, so I am now seeing a counsellor. Her good advice was to wake up every morning and think of three positive things about my life.

Since I didn't sleep much last night, this is not quite waking up in the morning, as it's almost 4pm. But here we go:

#1 Muffy's memorial garden coming along nicely

Lina gave me some succulent cuttings at the weekend, so I planted some of them here and others in the front garden.

#2 Washing drying in the sun

There is nothing better than the smell of clean clothes that have been in the sun all day. My mother used to sing when she hung out the washing! (You can just see the pink flowers on Muffy's grave at bottom left.)

 

#3 Friends

Why I ever get depressed I do not understand, with so many wonderful friends from all over the world. It's always a happy time when they come to visit!

In the middle of the night

Thanks, Michael, for this wonderful pic of a cat. It must be one of the cutest ever cat photos. It's wonderful, too, that we're still in touch after all these years.

I frequently become so frustrated with the Internet that I come very close to giving up completely, yet I know I could never do that as it would mean no more contact with so many friends from all over the world. Right now, it's 3:13am and I can't sleep, so decided to think of you all by doing this blog.

Winifred, all my love goes to you. Not a day goes by when I don't think of you and hope you will soon be able to do your own emails again.

And Frank, you'll be here in Sydney in a few short weeks with daughter Sandra. I'm getting very excited and I'm sure you both are, too. I admire you for undergoing such an exhausting flight!

Memories...

Had a lovely surprise this morning. German friend Bianka emailed, telling me she'd come across my blog from years back, and had read the current entries, telling about Muffy's death. She sent me this photo of Muffy that she took in Mayfield, I think in 2008!

That brought back some happy memories of Bianka's visit to Australia, straight from school. What an adventure that was! She also sent this one of me - I have no recollection of the white brunch coat I was wearing, but remember well having breakfasts on the terrace!

Might as well put this one, too, of Muffy n me.

Many thanks, Bianka!

Autumn morning by the pool

This morning I had a swim, did a bit of gardening, then sat by the pool reading the paper and drinking coffee. Philip, quite used to being a single dad, did the washing. I think he and the kids are out buying a bearded dragon.

The temp will climb to 30 this afternoon - what a difference from the icy blizzard in UK! I hope you are surviving over there.

Last night I did something I'd never done before - listened to a French story being read aloud on the iPad, while following the printed text on the mobile! Amazing technology! I was inspired to improve my French at our conversation session yesterday, when two new women turned up, both fluent French speakers. Made me a bit ashamed of my own poor efforts. My mind is definitely slower than it used to be. Not only do I find it difficult to remember French words, but English as well.

Muffy's autumn memorial

The summer flowers are gone, so this morning I replaced the pots on Muffy's grave with these potted begonias. They seem to be very strong and are very pretty.

We've had a terribly hot summer, with most flowers withering quickly away, and hardly a blade of green grass to be seen. But today it is raining, which is wonderful. I'm about to take myself to the movies to see Darkest Hour, the story of Winston Churchill. The other day I saw Finding your Feet, which was wonderful - sad but enjoyable.

It takes a lot to get me out of the house, but, after two weeks of being in bed with the flu, I'm making an effort.

Food for the sick

This year has not started well. First there was Muffy's death, then the night in hospital with the mysterious pain in my hand, and for the past fortnight I have been suffering from the worst flu I have ever experienced.

Philip looked after me very well, providing lovely meals, such as the one in the pic, even though I couldn't taste a thing. I mostly slept an exhausted sleep, sweated, shivered, and put up with an aching body and runny nose.

I missed out on several planned activities to celebrate my 75th birthday (on Wednesday), and am not completely better yet. Still feeling very sorry for myself.

Memories of Muffy

Last night I put together many, many photos of beloved Muffy and Philip says we'll have them made into a memorial book. She was so much a part of my life, always right there beside me - watching while I was on my laptop, playing the piano, or working on my files.

She taught me so much about love and loss. That dear little creature...

Gout - Hornsby Hospital

Can you believe it! Gout in my left hand!!!!!

On Wednesday, Pam, a dear friend from Newcastle, came down by train to spend the day with me. We started off by going to a cafe in Westfield while we worked out what we'd do for the rest of the day. She was showing me photos of her grandchildren when a severe pain suddenly grabbed my left hand, like a vice, from the wrist to the finger tips.

Within seconds, it seems, the blood drained from my face and I thought I would pass out. Pam and another kind cafe patron tried to prop my head against the wall, then both of them ran to a nearby medical centre. A doctor and nurse came running to the cafe and the first thing the doctor said was, 'Get her onto the floor.'

I was so pleased to hear that, as I was finding it next to impossible to remain upright on the chair, and just wanted to lie down and die! Somebody had called Westfield security, who in turn called the ambulance. Once they had all arrived it grew a bit crowded inside the little cafe.

All the medicos thought I was having a heart attack, as I'd had a bypass 25 years ago, and that was the most likely thing to be happening. But I kept saying, 'My left hand, my left hand. Excruciating pain.'

Eventually, after having provided a floorshow - literally - for the other patrons, I was taken to Hornsby hospital by ambulance. I cannot speak highly enough of everybody concerned. Not a single complaint do I have about our health system: it's magnificent. I was examined, then placed in a short-term care ward, where I remained overnight.

Philip came from work to take Pam to the station that afternoon, then fetched me home the following morning. Westfield made no charge for my car left in their carpark overnight.

The pain has gone but I feel pretty washed-out today. From the time I got home from hospital to this morning, I had slept more than 13 hours. Sleep seems to be my reaction to any problem.

VERY, VERY, VERY grumpy old woman

I started this page a few days ago, and just about threw the computer out the window when everything I'd written simply flew away. That's been happening to my emails, too. It drives me crazy!

The original whinge I had was people who use iPhones in cinemas and theatres, as in the photo. I have stopped going to movies as a consequence (much prefer NETFLIX in the comfort of my own home). 

I took Emma to The Wizard of Oz on Saturday. Being gouged by Viagogo - NEVER again - for $450 for two $100 tickets brought on a serious bout of grumpiness, I can assure you. Even getting there was frustrating enough. Emma has two Opal cards, one at her mother's flat and the other here, this latter needing topping up. These days, I cannot even cope with a topping up machine - almost no real live staff at railway stations any longer - so Philip gave her one of his two Opal cards. Would you believe, we discovered when she could not get through the ticket barrier at the station, that this one needed topping up, too. We were able to find a lonely staff member on duty that day and he kindly walked us over the road to a machine near Woolworths, and did the topping up for us, as I was on the point of a nervous breakdown. 

In the theatre, we climbed to the gods, to the very last row, where I sat directly behind the head of the woman in front and was blinded by several people using iPhones. I had to lean sideways throughout the whole performance to get a glimpse of the stage. On the way up, a woman had said to me: 'Well, this is your cardiac exercise for the day.'

Many more whinges to come next time.

Life after Muffy

  

Muffy's grave in back garden

New plants in pots nearby

I'm putting all my energy into the garden now that Muffy's gone. I won't get another kitten.

I have beautiful shots of her on both my monitors, and of course I think about her all the time.