Too much stuff, too much choice - all leads to confusion

I don't know about anybody else, but my life is one big, confused mess. I've been complaining about it for years and it just goes on getting worse. Maybe I do too many things, leading to things getting out of control.

My current feeling of being overwhelmed came just now as I sat at the pc to do this blog - there was an email from a previously unknown relative (through Ancestry.com), filling in a missing piece of the jigsaw of descendants of siblings of my grandmother.

Last year I organised a reunion of four lots of 2nd cousins, all of us descended from siblings of our grandmothers and now this person contacts me, apparently yet another 2nd cousin, descended from a brother of our grandmothers! I love it, even if it sets my head in a spin.

Moving on to the brother of the gorgeous little Grace, from Burkina Faso. Dad has sent a pic of big brother Tony:

Being in touch is so gratifying, and makes life worthwhile.

I got a big thrill out of my first WhatsApp experience, texting Michael in Germany the other evening (here) while he was playing a round of golf! And to make it more interesting, I was watching a doco about Germany at the same time, on the telly!

For me, people are what matters in life. Friends. This morning when I went to the local aquatic centre for an aquarobics session, it was lovely to be greeted by name by the instructor, one of the lifeguards, and one of the other participants. The beauty of the centre blows me away each time I go there.

For me, being positive means doing positive

I've almost never woken up in the morning being glad to be alive. Over the past few days, since talking with the counsellor, I've been making a deliberate effort to do three positive things which will make me feel positive about myself. It's not easy, as I always just want to turn over and pull the doona over my head and go back to sleep.

#1

Being here for Emma is an important reason for me to get up about 7am. Philip leaves at 7, having packed her school lunch. I wake her about 7:30 and she comes downstairs to have breakfast with me. I sent off her with an umbrella and rain poncho this morning, but she hadn't been gone two minutes when there was a very heavy downpour. I flew into the car, still in my pyjamas, and caught her along the way and delivered her to school.

#2

Exercise is always important. I swim here most days, and am shortly off to the Aquatic Centre do do aquarobics in the warm indoor pool. It's always worth the effort, even though it takes a bit of effort to get there.

#3

For me, intellectual stimulus is very important. After failing miserably in the Soul Beliefs quiz I did yesterday, I revised the notes and did it again, this time getting 93%. Wow! I was pretty pleased with myself!

It's hard to be positive three times a day, every day

I've only been doing three positive things for two days and already I'm struggling. Somtimes it's easier to think of things that have not affected me, like the bushfires that destroyed 70 houses in NSW and Victoria yesterday, the Cirque du_ Soleil acrobat who died after a fall in Florida, and not having to go to work every day, struggling with Sydney's chaotic transport system, or lack thereof.

#1

But yesterday, I did really enjoy an evening swim in our pool after a high of 38 degrees.

#2

And I always enjoying studying some of my current Rutgers University (New Jersey) free online course, Soul Beliefs: causes and consequences. Yesterday wasn't my best day, as I got only 66% in the quiz, instead of my usual 80% or above. However, pass or fail, I enjoy the intellectual stimulus and frequently do an online course.

#3

Last, but not least, I enjoyed watering the wilting garden and thinking of Muffy. 38 degrees in mid-autumn is frightening. 

World wide web

#1 #2 and #3

Not a day goes by without my cursing the computer and threatening to give it up, but the advantages more than outweigh the disadvantages. By a million to one.

I've been using email and Skype for years, and have a Facebook account which I seldom use, but am new to most forms of social media. Imagine my surprise and delight last night when I happened upon Georges in Burkina Faso, and we typed in both French and English and he sent me this pic of his little daughter, Grace:

Did you ever see such a cute little bundle!

Then I got this email from France, showing Jacky (wearing the scarf I sent her by snailmail when her husband died), with one of her sons and grandchildren in Brittany recently. Jacky and I started as penfriends when we were in high school, and Philip and I lived with her and her family in the 70s while I was getting my divorce in Versailles:

A couple of days ago, Finland was voted the Happiest Country in the World. I have friends living there, in Lapland, and pinched this photo from their Facebook page. Thanks, Scott:

I'm just showing off - getting these pics in can somtimes involve dozens of clicks + advice from Lina. This morning I managed to get three, so am on top of the world with my own cleverness :-)) Michael, I'm sure you will be proud of me.

Three positive things every day

This year did not start well, with Muffy's death, the mysterious, excruciating pain in my left hand resulting in a night in hospital, then two weeks with a severe dose of flu where I could barely raise my head from the pillow. All this sent me into a deep depression, so I am now seeing a counsellor. Her good advice was to wake up every morning and think of three positive things about my life.

Since I didn't sleep much last night, this is not quite waking up in the morning, as it's almost 4pm. But here we go:

#1 Muffy's memorial garden coming along nicely

Lina gave me some succulent cuttings at the weekend, so I planted some of them here and others in the front garden.

#2 Washing drying in the sun

There is nothing better than the smell of clean clothes that have been in the sun all day. My mother used to sing when she hung out the washing! (You can just see the pink flowers on Muffy's grave at bottom left.)

 

#3 Friends

Why I ever get depressed I do not understand, with so many wonderful friends from all over the world. It's always a happy time when they come to visit!

In the middle of the night

Thanks, Michael, for this wonderful pic of a cat. It must be one of the cutest ever cat photos. It's wonderful, too, that we're still in touch after all these years.

I frequently become so frustrated with the Internet that I come very close to giving up completely, yet I know I could never do that as it would mean no more contact with so many friends from all over the world. Right now, it's 3:13am and I can't sleep, so decided to think of you all by doing this blog.

Winifred, all my love goes to you. Not a day goes by when I don't think of you and hope you will soon be able to do your own emails again.

And Frank, you'll be here in Sydney in a few short weeks with daughter Sandra. I'm getting very excited and I'm sure you both are, too. I admire you for undergoing such an exhausting flight!

Memories...

Had a lovely surprise this morning. German friend Bianka emailed, telling me she'd come across my blog from years back, and had read the current entries, telling about Muffy's death. She sent me this photo of Muffy that she took in Mayfield, I think in 2008!

That brought back some happy memories of Bianka's visit to Australia, straight from school. What an adventure that was! She also sent this one of me - I have no recollection of the white brunch coat I was wearing, but remember well having breakfasts on the terrace!

Might as well put this one, too, of Muffy n me.

Many thanks, Bianka!

Autumn morning by the pool

This morning I had a swim, did a bit of gardening, then sat by the pool reading the paper and drinking coffee. Philip, quite used to being a single dad, did the washing. I think he and the kids are out buying a bearded dragon.

The temp will climb to 30 this afternoon - what a difference from the icy blizzard in UK! I hope you are surviving over there.

Last night I did something I'd never done before - listened to a French story being read aloud on the iPad, while following the printed text on the mobile! Amazing technology! I was inspired to improve my French at our conversation session yesterday, when two new women turned up, both fluent French speakers. Made me a bit ashamed of my own poor efforts. My mind is definitely slower than it used to be. Not only do I find it difficult to remember French words, but English as well.